So This is Life...?

I can't believe I've let myself go on autopilot for 19 days strait. 19 days of numbness, of no emotions, of hardly any effort. I thank the Lord something “traumatic” finally happened to me to wake me up from this deep sleep. Yeah, I've laughed over the past two weeks. I've cried, I've been nervous, I've dreamed and wondered and tried. But something kept me locked in an inescapable sanctum where I screamed and threw my fists against the cold white walls, and no one could hear me. In fact, I couldn't even hear myself. It scares me that I let my life get to be that way. That life itself is so precious and so rare, that each hour should be taken for granted. Each hour given to me is a gift from the Lord which He planned deliberately for me. And I've thrown so much of it away. It's time to wake up.